Men and Shoes Won’t Make You Happy - Official Kabbalah Publication of the Bnei Baruch Kabbalah Education & Research Institute
A Print Send to friend Send to friend

Men and Shoes Won’t Make You Happy

What do women really want? The key to real happiness is at our fingertips

Are you happy? Yes, I am talking to you. Today, I want to speak to you woman to woman, openly and candidly. I want you to really think about it. Are you truly happy? If you are honest with yourself, your response will likely be “no.” Maybe you’ve achieved many of your life goals: a husband, children, an exciting career, financial independence, and a healthy lifestyle; or maybe not, but irrespective of this, many women the world over are asking themselves, “What happened to me?” One recent study of American women, called “Women less happy after 40 years of feminism,” found that we are in fact less happy today than we were thirty years ago despite all sorts of modern advancements (Times Online).

Over the last few decades, we seem to have achieved everything we thought we wanted. We wanted to be more independent, so in came women’s rights and all sorts of opportunities for education and employment. Yet, we are becoming more and more disillusioned in this area of life. Another example is our unrealistic expectations of men. We often look at men as a source of our happiness, but most of the time we don’t find that men fit our criteria, and even if we do, we become disappointed over time.

Ok, maybe men and exciting careers don’t make us happy, but shopping most certainly will! But as most of us know by now, consumerism is a never-ending loop, and we have it turned on “high,” bringing ourselves and those around us to complete exhaustion. So, why is it that we still are not feeling happy? Could it be that we were looking for satisfaction in all the wrong places?

At some point, we started to understand that perhaps we couldn’t find happiness externally in our husbands, careers, or “things.” Our internal instinct instigated a search for “something more,” some greater purpose to life. So we turned our attention to all sorts of spiritual courses, psychologists, psychics, self-help books, and yoga memberships. After many failed attempts, however, we found that we still had a gaping hole in our hearts screaming out for true fulfillment. Is this you?

What are we Searching For?

What if I were to tell you that everything that’s happened so far was predetermined in order to lead you right here: this place where you’ve exhausted yourself trying to find fulfillment only to realize that you are still not happy. What if I were to also tell you that a woman’s fulfillment does not lie in shoes, clothes, cosmetics, holidays, men, or meditation; and that all these things will never bring the spiritual fulfillment that a woman needs most of all?

In our times, we are beginning to see that a woman can only truly be happy when she is in direct contact with a higher force, call it Nature or the Creator, but it’s something we’ve distanced ourselves from and are desperately seeking. Even with all our modern advancements and the achievement of all our goals, we still have an ever present internal feeling of being unfulfilled. This feeling of lack is inherent in every woman because a woman’s spiritual root is “an absolute desire to receive,” or as Kabbalah explains, the vessel which the Creator created in order to fulfill it with delight. It is our very nature to feel lack, because without a lack, there is nothing to fulfill. Everything that was ever created was for the sole purpose of bringing us women (the universal will to receive) pleasure.

Our desire for fulfillment is what has compelled all human development from the earliest societies until today. However, because our modern, collective ego, our desire for pleasure, has grown so large, the fulfillments of the past no longer do anything for us. Today, we need spiritual fulfillment or nothing else.

Finding Real Fulfillment

Every time we try to find fulfillment in any pleasure in this world, it is contact with the Upper Force, the Creator that we truly want. The whole purpose of all our development and all of our searching is to bring us to this point of exhaustion, when we simply can no longer try to fill ourselves with things from the outside world. It is at that exact moment that we have the opportunity to look inside ourselves, to begin a journey toward true, perfect, and eternal fulfillment.

The wisdom of Kabbalah is a practical method that can show a woman how to reconnect with her spiritual root in a conscious and proactive way. It can show us how to find eternal fulfillment by doing the one thing we have never tried, receiving pleasure in order to give pleasure to the One who created us. When we switch the intention of our desire from “for ourselves” to “for the other,” and when we find pleasure in the pleasure of someone else, the pleasure we feel increases exponentially and is everlasting. So, why not skip the mall, leave your husband or boyfriend in peace, put down the latest “10 Steps to Happiness,” and take some time to explore your spiritual root, the female desire, through the wisdom of Kabbalah?